0 How to Approach Women...

QUESTION: At lunch yesterday I saw this really great looking
classy girl.  She was obviously having lunch with some co-workers,
as was I.  We made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles. 

How does one go about approaching her?  If she "separated from the
pack" I could have maybe done something.  Is this a lost cause for
future encounters of this type?  
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Ah, the old "get her away from the pack" question. This is probably
one of the most common dilemmas for guys, and it's very
discouraging because of the supposed risk of embarrassment. 

No, it is never a lost cause. Remember, every situation can be
handled if you stop and plan in advance. We're human beings - and
problem solvers. 

And men are addicted to the challenge.

In the situation you found yourself, this gal gave you some
definite indications of interest in you. When you make eye
contact and get a smile, you should move in immediately. 

For every 30 seconds you wait after this point, her interest in you
drops by 10%.

You see, a woman interprets a man's confidence in terms of something
called "time to action."

If a guy takes too long to act on something - especially approaching
her when she's given off a signal like that - she has a timer in her
head that starts ticking, and with each tick, she's assuming you are
not confident enough to move on it.

You're probably wondering, "But don't I need to wait until I get a
convenient break from the herd?"

1) The "convenient" break will probably never happen. 
______________________
Remember, Alpha Men don't wait for circumstances; they MAKE them.
______________________

2) If you wait, you'll end up lowering her interest, because you
your "time to action only gets longer and longer, as you hang 
around skulking and waiting for your ideal window of opportunity. 

The Serengeti is full of tigers that will pounce on their prey if you won't. 
The longer you wait, the more likely you'll starve in the singles' jungle.

(And the faster she thinks: "Wimp.")

3) If you wait at all, your inner "LoserBoy" will start discouraging you.

Loserboy is that voice in your head that undermines your success so
you never have to risk losing - or winning. The two of you can sit
at home watching re-runs of "The X-files" and drinking old beer.

He'll turn you into a chicken by whispering all kinds of discouraging messages
to you, like "Nah, she's probably already taken," or "She just
wants to eat her lunch, not meet a possibly interesting guy." 

or "She doesn't want to be bothered. You'd just be another annoyance."

Don't give Loserboy the chance to start talking.

So, how do you introduce yourself without feeling like an intrusive
dork?

If the group she's in has more than one female in it, your best
option is always to use a wingman (a friend who can help break the
ice for you.) Coach one of your friends in advance and have them
ready to fly in with you.

But here's a solid strategy that works for me. (You might have seen my video
for this online.) 

Go over and introduce yourself to the friend of hers that you find LEAST 
attractive.

Why her?

Because, for one, you'll be making her feel special and important, since 
it's unlikely she gets as much attention as her friends. That should feel
good to you, and you'll be more motivated.

But mostly because when you approach a woman that you are not
that interested in, it RADICALLY lowers your fear and nervousness. 

And that's the most important thing to building the skill of approaching.
______________________
RULE: YOU MUST KEEP THE ACT OF APPROACHING WOMEN AS NATURAL
AND ABSENT OF FEAR AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.
______________________

Especially in the early stages. If you push yourself to do it when you
feel sick inside, you'll just be reinforcing that sick feeling. Take a 
few breaths, calm down, and go in on a much more laid-back
approach.

To approach this woman that you're not as interested in, you can
say something like, "Hey, I remember you, you're that girl from the party."

And of course, this is a mistake, but that at least starts the conversation.

Normally, I don't condone the use of "lines" or tricks to approach, but
if you need it to grow the skill, it's justified. (But no lying!)

Now, once you've approached that woman, you can bridge into talking with
the rest by just saying:

"Well since I'm here now, I guess I should say hi. How do you ladies all know
each other?"

And take it from there.

Here's another low-risk option: Have the waiter bring over a note saying
something like: 

"Hey, I'm the guy standing here trying to look cool. Can I come over and
say hello?"

Unless she's a hardcore you-know-what, she'll nod and let you come over.

Contrary to some advice you see out there, notes like this work like
MAD with women because it brings up the old grade school crush feelings.

Like when you sent over a letter to the first girl you liked saying "Do you 
like me? Check __Yes __ No. And what did she always do?

She scratched them both out and said, "Maybe."

Don't get all clever and turn on the "player." Just go over and start
up a normal chat.

Here's one that works for me: "I don't normally interrupt people
during lunch, but I just had to give you the pleasure of meeting
me." (Give her a playful smile.) "What's your name?"

Remember that a teasing and fun attitude is necessary because it
helps communicate your value as an Alpha Man. You need to
communicate your confidence and independent posture to her so that
she understands you're a real man, not a wimp that will bore her
after the first date. 

Just turn it down a few notches so it doesn't seem to much like you're a
pickup artist dying to run a "routine" on her or something.

She's seen the show, I assure you.

Women want men with a sexual charge about them, and are turned 
off by "nice guys" who can't muster the courage to go after what they want.

Be sure to smile when you say something like this to show her you're only
kidding around. 

If she gets indignant or weird, you excuse yourself and move on,
because you've just discovered that she's probably insecure and
bitchy.

But about 95% of the time, you'll now find yourself in a
conversation with a hot woman. 

Congratulations!

Don't talk too long.

End it quickly with the "Well, I have to get back to my friends. It
was nice talking to you." Then you hand her a pen and tell her to
write down her email or phone number. Don't ask her - tell her, and
she'll give it to you.

Remember, if she's interested, she doesn't care how you
introduce yourself, just as long as you do. 

With a little understanding, you can improve your confidence going
into situations like this, and that specter of rejection will leave
you alone. It ALWAYS loses its sting the more you face it and put
it into proper perspective.

Abso-freakin-lutely, guaranteed. 

Which leads me to this: You know that women are getting more and
more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with
just a whiff of your confidence. 

And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. 
You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that 
the media sells you.

Get the women YOU want. Not the one you had to SETTLE FOR.

There are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles
world.

Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple
minutes of meeting a woman?

You may have heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about 
getting "lucky".

It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front.
Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if
you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with
YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of
chance and fate.

BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you. 

I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are
trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard
way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure. 

You need this knowledge and understanding.

When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and
demonstrate better behaviors. 

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