0 Next Move = Stephen Nash

How do you know when to take things to the next level?

How to know when to "make the move"?

This is what we call, "Escalation", and  it's a
problem EVERY guy sweats.

In fact, I know a handful of guys who lose sleep over
this prior to going out with a girl. Wouldn't you like a clear
and easy plan to navigate these special moments?

Read on.

I want to cover a few things while going through this
topic of 'How To Escalate'. All of them require you to pay
attention, and lead the interaction.

Typically, when in an intimate situation, women look
to men to lead this process.

The first thing you should be paying attention to is...

Body Language.

You will need to gauge her comfort level by observing
her body language, and by listening to what she says.

The basic rule of thumb is to not give her any more
energy (via body language) than she is giving with
hers and in the meantime create comfort by talking, listening,
and expressing humor

This encourages her to open up to you. When she does
so, reward her with changing your body language too,
slowly leading her physically into more
and more comfort.

Confused yet?  Haha, no worries...here's an EXAMPLE:

Say you are both sitting on the sofa and you notice
that her legs are crossed AWAY from you.  It is VERY
important that you notice a detail like that, OK?

I suggest you ALSO cross yours away from her, and
then, after a few moments of comfort building, cross
your legs TO her.

(Refer back to my note about "connections" for more
info on comfort building)

See how counter-intuitive this stuff is?  The best
techniques usually are...

If you have earned her trust, she will, as a result of
greater rapport, cross her legs to you. See that?

This principle applies to all potential scenarios. The
idea is to meet her where she is ENERGY-wise, then lead
her from that into a more intimate place.

The next key element you're going to need to get is...

Tonality

You will want to slow down your speech, and soften
your voice when escalating.

This may be obvious to some of you guys, but women are
very responsive to changes in sound.

Again, if you do this at the right time, you will,
just by using your voice, LEAD her into greater
intimacy - her voice will slow down, and soften... you
lean in to hear her, get closer... see where this
leads?

Try not to raise your eyebrows and become the "sexy
seducer" ala Rico Suave - PLEASE don't do that...this
is subtle and real-world.   No Rico's please!

Next: Pacing Her Reality

If you sense her getting uncomfortable for any reason
pace her reality and acknowledge that you are sensitive to the
moment.

When you pace someone's reality, you exhibit understanding
for their situation IN THE MOMENT and you build a connection
there, stabilizing the energy.

Then, you simply build back to where you were, and
continue to escalate.

Pacing can be used at any point, particularly where
you feel that she is uncomfortable, or you are
uncomfortable.

There are two very good ways to do so:

1) Pace it by simply acknowledging it. "Wow, here we
are in my bedroom, I must say it is a bit uncomfortable to be
here with a completely new person and it must also be kind of
different for you too. Well, since you are a new person in my
room, as your initiation, you must tell a very funny joke."

So, what have I done here?

I have communicated that I am uncomfortable (which
will invariably surprise her), and I acknowledge that
I understand her feelings too.

Notice that I don't say that she feels uncomfortable,
or weird - better to frame the feelings in this way,
rather than something so obviously negative.

Then I take her feelings and transfer her discomfort
from being in my room to a challenge to tell a funny
joke.

Now she has a different reason to feel uncomfortable,
and it is not about me, but rather about a challenge that I have
laid down.

Schttrj, that example I just provided is VERY
solid and I hope you see the skill involved
there...pretty important stuff.

Yes, you can certainly use the line, but better to
understand the principle.

So, here is a short definition:

Pacing = acknowledgement, connection, and lead away.

Cool?

So, how then do you know when to move forward, when to
escalate?

Well, you have to begin to notice rhythms that exist
socially between people.

There are certain windows of opportunity which open up
when in intimacy.

Escalation is on your mind, and it is on hers.

She is wondering if you will, and then, how you will
escalate.

What will be on your mind, usually, is that you want
to, but how, and when?

You HAVE to pay attention, and you HAVE to be
willing to take the chance.

Rule of thumb...and it may surprise you:

"If YOU'RE thinking about it, SHE is thinking about
it"

So, if your instinct is to kiss her, guess what?  KISS
HER.

I think I will leave it at that for today Schttrj.

Escalating is HUGE, and if you can make the move at
the right time in the right way...you will score MAJOR
points with her, while also building a sturdy frame of
confidence across the board.

But, no risk...no reward...

How willing to risk and learn are you? 

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