0 First Impression - Stephen Nash

What is your "Look"?
How do you think people see you, when they first meet you?
What is your first impression?
Do You Even KNOW Schttrj?
If not...you'll want to seriously consider what I am about to cover
with you.
Don't you think you deserve to make a strong first
impression?  I think you DO.
That's the topic for the 8th installment of our Master Class
series...mastering your personal style, or what I often refer to
as, your LOOK.
I was just outside, coming back from lunch this afternoon. I made a
few mental notes about the various first impressions I noticed from
the sidewalk.
- First, a homeless person - so that's a clear and very extreme
first impression...right? I hope you don't fall into that category.
- Now we have a lovely attractive young woman without a jacket on a
day when you might wear a jacket, because it's somewhat chilly, and
a Burberry scarf, pearl earrings, hair pulled back. She's very
elegant, very pretty.
- And then there's a gentleman standing by the ATM, whose suit
makes him appear to be a security guard (which he isn't btw). His
clothing doesn't quite fit, just a little too big. His shoes are
not quite polished. He has a fairly bland look, with a balding
head, pounding away at his Blackberry.
(As a fun exercise: you might look around you and just see
how it is that you respond to people based on how they are
dressed...interesting, eh?)
One certainly sees everything here in New York, soup to nuts.
(And I mean NUTS)
You get everything from clear, specific, interesting personal styles,
as was described with that young lady.
With her, everything was working together - her outfit was well
organized, she looked smart and elegant. Also, it worked for her body.
Her look indicated a clear IMAGE to the world, one that served
her personality and her outer life for the day.
And then the blue-suited gentleman who frankly just faded
away. There's nothing directly interesting about how he looked,
therefore I won't remember him in five minutes time.
He "fits in" and struck me as an "average guy".
How many of you out there project the image of an "average guy"?
What I want to do with this email is to try to outline for you some
basic principles of building a personal style, or LOOK.
OK?
So the first piece you need to get handled, is understanding the
difference between being Physically attractive and Genetically
attractive.
There is a difference, and in the dating game, it is a
HUGE difference.
Guys who are genetically attractive are typically naturally
handsome men.  Think George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Pierce
Brosnan etc...
Guys who are physically attractive are any guy who goes
the extra mile or two to do the most with what he has.  He
may or may not be genetically attractive, but he is always
looking his best - he is at his most attractive.
It is possible to be genetically attractive, and yet not
physically attractive.  It is also possible to not be genetically
attractive BUT still be physically attractive.
Guess what?  Women are just as interested in the LATTER
as the former.
So, if you take ownership of your LOOK and do the most
with what you have, you can optimize your look and
dramatically improve your chances with women.
No excuses! (in other words)
Typically, guys who struggle with women are not Physically
attractive MEANING that the things that are well within their
control are not "handled":
- Their fashion and style choices
- Their lifestyle choices and how that impacts their "vibe" or daily energy
- Their grooming
All the things that are within their control - things that you can
do TODAY to deal with that - are not handled, or are handled VERY
poorly.
These are the "average" guys who struggle with women.
Am I ringing any bells here Schttrj?
OK - so time for some action steps here:
Ask yourself the following three questions when considering your
look and image...here goes:
No. 1: Does it help me feel more powerful and confident?
No. 2: Will it help me achieve the aims I strive for in life?
No. 3: Does it work for my body type and personality?
Take those three questions with you as you begin to cultivate and
design for yourself an image.
These questions might factor into a decision over a certain
garment, jacket, pants...
Or, they might help when considering certain lifestyle choices
you are considering.  If you're wondering whether to take an
art class or to take a language class, you might prefer the language
class as it would naturally bring you into contact with more and
more people (aka: WOMEN).
Let's look at an example related to fashion that you might be facing
even today.
If you have an office type of job, and you want to dress better at
the workplace (a GREAT idea by the way), diving into the
jeans rack at the Gap might not be the wisest choice.
What I would suggest, in that case, is going to a good men's
store, perhaps not something that's overpriced - here in
New York we have Zara, which is great for men, particularly
of my size, who are fairly thin and tall - they have great pants there.
Every major city typically has exceptional stores for clothing,
mid-range stores for clothing, and then the average stores for
clothing.
I would stay away from the average stores, and shoot for the middle rack.
You know, you're not going to go to Saks Fifth Avenue, here in New York,
if you're not loaded with green. But you might go to Macy's, or Zara,
or you might go to good, intelligent thrift stores like Housing Works,
where they often have hand-me-down's worn by people who have great
taste in clothing.
I recently found a $40 pair of Boss slacks at a thrift store which
fit me perfectly that are a huge steal. They would easily retail
for four or five-hundred dollars!
Here's a couple of websites for you to check out:
www.Bluefly.com
www.Yoox.com
Both sites feature contemporary clothing that is targeted to men
between the ages of say 25-55.  They are also sold at a MASSIVE
discount.  You can even find KILLER shoes there too.
If you haven't been to a tailor in the last two years, go and have
your measurements taken.  You should do this regularly anyway,
and they will do it at no cost.
Once you have these, making purchases online is a snap.
Last, here's a little exercise to do today.
I want you to ask yourself these questions - and write down
your answers.
From these answers begin to try to conceptualize for yourself
a new look, or at least the next step in a new look.
You're going to be asked here to become your own image consultant
because you're not here in front of me and I obviously can not work
with you directly, but I can give you something to think about.
There are eight of them...here goes:
No. 1: Go to a mirror and notice your body language. And ask
yourself what does it communicate? You might even involve a friend.
It could be male or female - if it's a guy that you like to go out
with, fine; if you have a female friend, fine. Ask them to help you
here, because you might not be the best judge.
No. 2: What body type are you? Thin, medium build, muscular, or are
you overweight? Try to keep this answer simple.
No. 3: Thumb through a men's magazine, and ask yourself which
fashion ads grab your attention and why? What about the look of the
men in the picture grabs your attention? This is important in order
to see what stimulates your imagination. What it is that you might
begin to feel great wearing?
No. 4: Imagine a scenario where you are successful in the workplace
or in your career. And ask yourself what is it that you are wearing
in that image? How is your posture, what is your vibe? Are you
confident and assured? Are you meek and timid? Be honest with
yourself and write this down.
No. 5: Imagine a scenario where you are going out on the town with
the woman of your dreams. You're arm in arm, headed to a concert
perhaps, or a show. You are both very comfortable and happy with
each other. What are you wearing, how is your posture, what is your
vibe? Again, is it confident and assured, meek and timid? Something
else/something in-between? Write it down.
No. 6: Use your imagination to determine what type of look you
picture yourself in. Is it casual? Dressed up in suits? Is it
preppy? Dressed down perhaps in the latest street-wear? Consider
your day-to-day life, and what image you need to project to fulfill
your aims. See yourself successfully achieving these goals and
notice the look you embody. That one is HUGE. If you have any
impressions or images of yourself as you read this, I would
encourage you to examine those and look into them and see how far
you can take that.
No. 7: Consider the roles that you play daily that impact your
style. Are you an executive, student, a DJ? These are common sense.
If you're stuck, think of someone whose clothes you like, someone
that you think dresses stylishly and conveys the right things with
their look. At the same time look at yourself and be honest. Will
this work for you?
You know, I personally love the way Mick Jagger dresses, but I
can't imagine myself wearing his clothing out in my daily life.
That just wouldn't be intelligent, so you've got to be smart here.
That's obviously an extreme example, but I think it communicates a
point.
And then lastly...
No. 8: Who do you look like? Ask yourself; do you look like Mick
Jagger? Do you look like Tom Cruise? Do you look like a friend of
yours? Do you have a similar body type as he? Does your hair kind
of mirror each other's in some way? Take a look at that. Examine
that. See what looks good on those body types, and then maybe adapt
that to your own look.
A friend of mine was recently approached by someone who said that
he looked like Pierce Brosnan.
This guy kept getting people coming up to him saying 'You look like
Pierce Brosnan... You remind me of Pierce Brosnan'.
So, what did he do?
He wisely looked at photographs of Pierce Brosnan, and took on
certain looks that he wore on/off camera.
He added some AMAZING looks to his repertoire, while also giving
himself many different ways to feel GREAT as well.
Having an empowering personal style is not only good for the outer game,
but for the inner game as well.


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