0 Nervousness

QUESTION

Hey Lance,

I want to know how to avoid being overcome with nervousness and blowing it? 

Also, how to fill breaks in the conversation.

Thanks!

Gavin - Berkeley, CA

MY COMMENTS

Hey Gavin,

The BEST way o avoid being nervous is to practice all the time.  Don't wait until you talk to a cute girl.

Listen, this isone of the common mistakes guys make.  They only practice being social with women they want to date.

BAD THING!  You are just anchoring your nervous feelings to meeting women.

Instead, starting now this minute, practice being social with EVERYONE you encounter.

Friends, family, co-workers, people in line at the coffee shop, the cute waitress at the

diner... everybody.

When that becomes natural (this is all about Natural Game) then it's just you being you when you talk with cute girls.

By the way, being nervous doesn't mean you'll 'blow it' with a woman.  Being a little nervous is normal.  Being terrified isn't.

And one way to fill in the 'breaks' in the conversation is to be genuinely interested in her. 

Just don't ask 'interview' style questions about her job and where she lives.

Also learn to tell interesting stories from your own life.  This is another great way to convey personality too.

QUESTION

Dear Lance,

How do I go from using an opener into small talk? I find it really hard to think of anything to say to beautiful women.

Saren

MY COMMENTS

Hi Saren,

First thing, make sure you read above where I told Gavin how to overcome being nervous around cute girls.

Listen, beautiful women are no different than anyone else when it comes to fun conversation.

If you can talk to your friends, and people you work with you can talk to hotties.

Now if you want them to be attracted to you, then you'll need to know how to make a great first impression and to have fun and fascinating conversations.

It's not how to go from 'opener to small talk.'

It's how to go from complete stranger, to interest, to attraction, and then to rapport.

How you do it each time will depend on the women, so you need to pay attention to her.

Or put in San Francisco lingo: get out of your own head!

If you have been paying attention, you'll know that the basic elements of attraction conversations I teach are storytelling and banter, plus a killer hook to get everyone focused on you.

And these are really just 'training wheels' designed to help you learn how to do what I call VIBING.

If you practice everyday like I tell you, in less than a month or so, you'll find you can easily have fun conversations with anyone... especially beautiful women!

But you must PRACTICE.  This is where guys drop the ball.

Look, If you've got 30 minutes a day, I guarantee to work a social skills miracle in your life.

That's all it takes, but you've got to lean in to your edge and push yourself out of your comfort zone.

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