0 Flirting

This is one of my FAVORITE skills to learn.

Do your conversations tend to lack sexual tension, and border
on a job interview?

Do you wish you had the flirting power that some of the
actor's have in movies?

Do you wonder why some guys have girls hanging off them, and
some struggle?

Are you TOO cocky in conversations, and you can feel it
working until you hit a nerve and realize... not again?
Do you hear "Let's Just Be Friends" a little too often?? 
The essential skill...

flirting (flûrting)

1. To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.

2. To deal playfully, triflingly, or superficially with: flirt
with danger.

3. To move abruptly or jerkily.

Sexual tension is easily the hardest concept to get when
working with men who struggle with women, dating and relationships. Most
men lack the ability to understand it, and then how to work with
it. The primary way to influence sexual tension is via flirting.

Sexual tension is essentially when there exists polarity,
magnetism or, as we like to call it, "attraction". The largest misnomer
that exists is that one can create attraction - this is FALSE.

Do I have your attention now? Attraction is based on polarity and
magnetism, NOT on the external elements you are probably obsessed with
right now..."what do I say", "what should I wear", "how should I
stand"...

Now, the only way that I can influence the women that are
attracted to me is to enhance my internal self-image first, followed by
consistent, deliberate efforts to harmonize that with my
lifestyle and personal look.

There is no way that you will learn a bunch of scripts, lines
and tactics to "create attraction" - again, this is false.

My "How To Get A Girlfriend" ebook is THE BEST product on the
market to transform both the internal belief system and the
external vibe and look to represent YOU in the most powerful,
attractive way.  (Have to plug Schttrj!)

Anything that does not focus on both the internal and the
external is incomplete, and not as helpful.

You might, however, learn how to influence attraction WHEN IT
ALREADY EXISTS. The fact that she is laughing and touching you
while you run routines and lines does not mean she is attracted,
it means she thinks you are FUNNY - not a bad thing certainly - but
it rarely converts to dates.

This should explain flaking to you...and why it is so
incomprehensible... she was never into you in the
first place.

So, learning how to recognize "attraction" is important. But,
for now, lets assume it is already there, and that you are now
attempting to enhance this polarity, and escalate the
interaction with greater sexual tension.

In short, flirting is where we push away with our words, and
pull towards with our energy. So, a classic scenario is where the man
treats the woman as being slightly beneath him in coolness (I
emphasize slightly, as too much comes across as cocky - which
signals insecurity).

You might call her a "brat", while smiling at her - the word
"brat" is an insult, but the smile is an invitation.

Perhaps that's a definition - "an inviting insult". Witty
banter has forever been used as a tool to rise socially - particularly
in European cultures of the 16th & 17th centuries. See the film
"Ridicule" for a prime example of this.

It takes some balls to flirt, as it indicates automatically a
sexual interest, which is uncomfortable for many men
(particularly those lacking in sexual experience).

What you are looking for are opportunities to insult her,
point out her flaws (not physical, of course), treat her like a little
sister that you don't take seriously.

Do all of this though with a SMILE - you don't want to be
taken at face value here. By pushing/pulling all in one we
mix brain signals, and engage her emotionally.

This is the clearest way to communicate that you are comfortable
around her, and that she can be comfortable around you too.

The best flirtatious comments are created in the moment, based
on what she is revealing to you about herself at that moment.
Flirting is basically the art of insulting, but doing so with a smile.

Here are some great examples of flirting:

(If she is asking lots of "testy" questions) I like that you
are asking so many questions, it shows that you are both curious and
intelligent. You remind me of Polly Matson who used to sit front
and center in 5th grade to impress the teacher with hard
questions. (then, if she continues asking questions, refer to her as
"Polly")

(If she teases you about your clothing) You're clearly Melissa
Rivers' long lost sister...

(If she condescends to you in ANY way) "Ok, Lucy from Charlie
Brown... we need to get you a football and a little blue
dress..."

Now, if you struggle with flirting, I suggest taking these (or
the many other examples that you can find out there) and practicing
them on women LIVE. I strongly believe in using the scripts from
the community to learn the SKILLS - but then drop the training
wheels.

So, the above should get you started at least. What you are
looking for though is the FEELING of flirting - so, when is
there an opportunity to flirt? How does it feel to do it? What are her
reactions to the things I say? Is the intent being communicated?
Am I coming across too harshly? IS SHE HAVING FUN?? (that is the
biggie).

Ultimately, if YOU are having fun then you will definitely
translate your sense of humor clearly. If you are inexperienced,
you are likely to mix the signals.

But, guess what, you might have to bomb a time or two in
order to clean up your signals - there is no replacement for
live experience.

Also, head out with a friend to practice - use the principles
I outlined yesterday in my article on engaging women in
conversation, then follow those up with the ideas I detail here.

If you can do this a few times, you will start to "GET IT" and
explode your conversations with power.

Become a flirting machine, because you'll use it constantly in
the interaction, and relationship if you choose. It's an essential
step that most guys tend to skip, or FAIL at miserably.

Soon, you'll learn how to act like a TRACTOR BEAM and PULL her
into your world through STORYTELLING. Stay tuned, and practice
flirting before you get it!


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