0 The 8 Steps In A Natural "Pick-Up"

#1) First you've gotta have great body language and
tonality. If a girl sees that you're needy in your body,
she'll lose interest and if she can sense that you're
insecure in your voice, she will also lose interest. Be
heard, but don't shout. If she has to say "huh?",
you've lost her.

#2) Next, you've gotta be able to open up the
conversation. To my knowledge, there are 4 skills you can
choose from: a direct approach, an
environmental/situational, a teaser opener and an opinion
opener. Depending upon the circumstances, any one of these
will do the trick. There's no need to become GREAT at any
of these, just be competent and you'll be fine, OK?

#3) Third, and this one's hugely important, you've
gotta be able to flirt. Flirting is what separates the
friends from the boyfriends. Flirting builds sexual
tension, which is mandatory in attracting women - no
tension, no date - it's that simple.

Do this after the opener, and base it around what she says
to you. Be tasteful, and don't go TOO far with the cockiness.
But, if you can find that edge of both a lite insult, but done
with a great sense of humor, you'll never have a lonely
Saturday night again.

#4) Fourth, you've gotta be able to transition smoothly
from flirting into connecting. In order for a woman to feel
confident about giving you her number, she's gotta feel
connection with you. Makes sense right? In order then to
influence the interaction away from the playful banter of
flirting into more "getting to know you" talk, use my
skill called baiting.

This is where you dangle bait throughout the interaction,
eliciting questions from her to you allowing her to transition
the conversation into more "connect" based talking. If she
takes the bait, so to speak, you know she’s attracted to you
(why else would she want to know more about you then, right?).

#5) Fifth, Wide rapport is the essence to a solid
connection when you first meet a girl. If you discover that
you have one thing in common with a woman - say it's rock
climbing - then it's natural to want to spend all of your
time talking about just that. Well, that won't get the job
done man.

You see, she needs to feel a strong sense of connection to
truly want to carve out a few hours of her life for a date
with you. Therefore, I suggest you find 3 commonalities.

Takes a bit of art to do that, but the art is what makes
pick-up fun. With 3 commonalities discovered,
you’ve accomplished wide rapport...congratulations!

#6) Next, a bit of Kino can go a long way. I'm not
talking about feeling her up here, or going wildly
"sexual state" on her (thanks Gunwitch), but some
subtle gentle touches, say to the hand or arm, maybe when
making a simple point through the interaction, can go a
long way to showing her that you are confident enough to
enter and leave her physical space. The entering builds
tension, and the leaving releases it.

Subtleties like this place you in the leadership role in the
interaction, again emphasizing that you aren’t her future
BFF (gag).

#7) Seven - the compliment. You must state some level of
interest in her. Flirting conveys sexual tension, yes -
which solidifies attraction, if done effectively. But a
compliment at this point in the interaction helps HER feel
good in knowing that you are interested in her.

If she's stuck around for this long, she's definitely interested
in you and now, in order to feel secure that you're a man
of integrity and honesty, she will want to hear that you
find her interesting and attractive in some way.

A good compliment focuses on HER and not her GENETICS. Never
compliment a woman’s eyes, hair, legs, boobs, ass or
anything - not until you’re getting physically intimate
with her - instead, allow her to feel SEEN by you by
complimenting HER personality.

Maybe she has a great sense of humor, a hip sense of style,
whatever. Just acknowledge something about HER (and not her
DNA), and you’ll be fine.

#8) Last, time to close it out with a number close - or, if
this is a one night stand in the making - you move to a
venue change. The number close is easy, use this and
you’ll be fine:

"It's been great chatting with you, but I've gotta
run along to a lunch meeting (or whatever), but how can we
continue this at another time?".

The venue change requires a simple over-sell:

"Have you ever been to Art Cafe? They have the coolest
environment in the west village, with amazing music, and we
can grab some amazing latte and red velvet cake before
I've gotta run home. What do you say, shall we?"

Either way, if she's chatted with you for this long, and
you've done the above simple steps, you're sure to
create a sturdy bridge to next time, whenever that is.

Keep it simple, and focused on these 8 steps and you'll
have a very sturdy social "spine" in the field out
there. Yes, there is a bit of art in between all of these,
but that can’t be taught and can only be learned thru
live experience.

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