0 Baiting = Stephen Nash

I sort of discovered this skill by observing my natural
friend "Rob" in action.  Rob is a good buddy of mine still,
and watching him talk to women was a huge eye-opener for me.

We were out one night having dinner, and he struck up a
conversation with the women at the adjacent table.

I was pretty new to all of this, so I consciously laid back
and watched Rob work the girls.  Man, was I blown away.

I noticed that he NEVER asked them anything and that very often
the girls would end up chasing HIM by asking him numerous
questions about his life and background.  They were totally
in to him!

As I watched this, I could see that I would usually be asking
questions like "What's your name?", "Where are you from?",
"What do you do?"...and that Rob wasn't doing this AT ALL.

Instead, he was setting it up so that THEY would chase him
in this manner.  This was a major shift in my paradigm to
say the least.

On the surface, it looked like he was just talking and flirting with
them.  He'd toss in a flirt here and there, but mostly it
looked to me like he was just talking!  But, there was something
else going on...and I was about to learn all about it.

I'm pretty sure I had never seen this dynamic before, as I
had always been the one to default into the question-asking
game with women, which usually bores them to tears.

Man, Rob really had the "gift of gab" (still does, btw).
This "gift" might appear as simple TALK, but it is better
described as the ART of conveying who you are...indirectly.

I think the best way to reveal this skill is to provide
an example.  Take a close look at the following dialogue and
see if you can understand where I am baiting the woman.

ME: (touching her sweater) mmm... cashmere... love a warm 
sweater. Growing up in the mountains, I always had such warm
clothes for the wintertime. Whenever I wear one now, it 
reminds me of my youth.

HER: The mountains? Where did you grow up?

ME: Oh, the mountains of North Carolina. I lived there 
through high school. Growing up in a small town, and 
particularly when you mother has a central position in the 
community, you learn a lot about everything - government, 
the arts, personalities, scandal, commerce - you name it. 
Small town life makes people very well-rounded.

HER: How cool!  What did your mother do?

ME: She published the local newspaper. So, we learned about
everything first, then communicated it to the community in 
print. We had some wild experiences in that place!  Obviously,
though, I left, and ended up focusing on a career in school 
- which helped me get to where I am today. 

HER: Where did you go to school? What are you doing now?

Can you see it?  Every question she asks here is preceded
by "bait" that I consciously insert into my remarks.  I am
giving her a reason to ask me questions.

If you toss in a little bait, and the girl starts taking it
by asking questions of you...guess what?  She's INTERESTED.

Now, you do not want to reveal an ENTIRE fact about your
life with baiting. What you want to do is to HINT at it,
thus, baiting a question from her.

This tool is THE way out of the traditional pattern of asking tons of questions of a girl, and gets her instead asking those
questions of you. This is a much more powerful dynamic that
gets her chasing you rather than the reverse.

Nice eh?

Trust me, if you can nail this one down...man...your social
life will change A LOT.

Oh wait - one basic rule of thumb here: to bait her until
she is asking you questions. THEN, feel free to ask
questions of her. Understood?

I don't want to create the impression that I don't advocate
asking questions of her - of course I do!  But, I'd
rather the asking be shared here, instead of you falling back
onto it like a lame ole crutch!  And better yet, let her
initiate...OK?

Eventually, it is very important that you demonstrate your
interest in her by asking questions and complimenting her.

This should be done in the "connect" phase (phase 3 in the 3-step process...remember?).

It is critical that you let her know that you find her
interesting, and worth getting to know further.

But, only do this when she has indicated an interest in you
by asking questions of you FIRST.

When she does this, you know she is hooked. Why else would
she ask you a question?

By baiting her, she is the one to shift the dynamic into the
"getting to know you" stage of an interaction, rather than
you.

It is an essential skill to hooking her into the
conversation. This technique empowers you out of the
traditional question asking scenario, and into the more
interesting dynamic of you leading by demonstrating your
personality.

You come across as more powerful, and less needy.

Naturals do this all the time...

Now, the caveat here is that this is a VERY hard skill to master.

In fact, it took me a few weeks with Rob's guidance just to
nail this down.  Once I did though, I was flying socially.

The biggest change?  Having women asking ME questions
did wonders for my confidence and self-esteem...this
changed my life profoundly Schttrj.

I hope it does the same for you.


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