Thursday, September 17, 2009

0 3 secrets of Alpha Male


I’m sure you’ve heard the term Alpha Male before. Some guys associate this term with the animal kingdom: the bad-ass lion or monkey that rules over the others and gets first crack at the food and the most desirable females.
For other guys, the term Alpha Male has a negative meaning in their mind. It means the football captain who used to swagger around their campus, intimidating the underclassmen and snatching all the hot chicks.
Or, you might have an Alpha Male in your workplace: a “man’s man” who radiates confidence and energy, and always gets what he’s after. He might be a pain in the ass to work for, but you gotta respect the guy.
Either way, most guys suffer under the belief that some of us are born as Alpha Males, and the rest of us are doomed to be “shy guys” or “nice guys” who can only have the leftovers.
But the truth is, we’ve all got an Alpha Male inside of us. Right now I want to give you three quick tips on displaying your Alpha side. These come from recent experiences in my life...

ALPHA MALE SECRET #1: Displaying your Alpha Male side means showing confidence and charm with men AND women.
Always expand your social network! This is SO important...
Carlos Xuma and I have seen lots of guys who study “pickup” and become more successful with talking to women, yet they continue to feel intimidated or hostile towards other guys – especially guys who they think are better-looking or cooler than they are, or guys who are getting more attention from females.
When I go out, meeting women is the main goal -- but meeting cool guys and building your Alpha Male network is also a big part of developing your long-term game.
Make this a habit: when you’re out socially and you see guys who are Alpha Men, introduce yourself to them and build new alliances.
The Alpha Man isn't the "tough guy" sitting there with a scowl on his face, who looks like he could whip any guy's ass in the room.
The Alpha Man is the guy who obviously has confidence, social skills, and a positive attitude. He's interacting with people and leading the conversation with his group of friends. Or, he's chatting up women and they're into what he's saying. He's fun. He is spreading positive energy.
I do this all the time. Even if I go to a bar with a couple of buddies, I will STILL meet new guys that night and build alliances.
For example, I was at a party recently. I noticed a guy who had a cool "rock star" look – tattoos, leather pants, spiked-up hair. That isn't MY vibe, personally, but I could tell he had a lot of charismatic energy. He was introducing himself to people and conversing with girls in a cool, laidback way. They were into him.
Even though I was at the party with a group of friends (including a girl who came with me), I made it a point to meet him that night. I struck up a conversation with him about where he got his tattoos done. I told him a friend of mine is into tattoos, and he's new in town, and he wants to find a good artist. The rocker guy was totally enthusiastic about this subject, and so there was an instant connection between us. In no time, we were chatting away like a couple of old friends.
Long story short: it turned out this guy was in a band, and had a record deal, and lived in a house with his band mates where they threw crazy parties all the time. He invited me to his next party, where I had an outrageously fun time and hooked up with a girl that HE introduced me to.
You get what I'm saying here?
He could have been a rock star or an investment banker. It doesn't matter. I identified him as an "Alpha," a guy with unique energy and great social skills, and I made it a point to befriend him and hang out with him. That opened the door for me to meet MORE WOMEN. He became my wingman!
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is they ONLY look to hit on women when they go out. By meeting other Alpha Men, you’re going to expand your social network tremendously. They’ll invite you to bars, parties, etc. that you didn’t even know about.
They might know girls they want to hook you up with!
And in any case, when women observe you hanging out with an Alpha, you get automatic "social proof." If cool-looking guys are hanging around with you, then in the eyes of women, it must mean that you're as cool as they are. You have obvious value.
Also remember this – if you normally go to the same old bars, with the same old friends of yours (the guys who DON’T approach anyone), it’s time for you to “upgrade” and start hanging out with some guys who are super-social and give you extra motivation.
ALPHA MALE SECRET #2: To be the Alpha Male, you always need to be a leader, and be decisive.
Women respect men who lay out a path for them to follow. She doesn’t really want you to ask her opinion on where to eat, where to go for a drink, what movie to go see...you’re actually making her FREAK OUT a little when you do that, because women only feel safe with a man who they think is emotionally strong, decisive, and able to protect her.
It also comes down to our Fear of the Unknown. This is Human Nature 101. When a person can't visualize the OUTCOME of a decision they're about to make, they feel anxious and it becomes ten times harder for them to make a decision.
When you lay out the outcome FOR HER, you put her at ease.
This means you must always have a game plan in mind, and tell her the plan.
Whenever there is a decision to be made, YOU need to step up and express how you think it should go. Even if it's a small thing, like deciding where to go eat or have coffee.
WEAK MOVE: “Um, if you’re not busy, maybe we could hang out sometime and do something…”
(Think about this from HER point of view. What are you proposing, exactly? What's the outcome going to be? Are you trying to get in her pants? Do you want to hang out as friends? Where are you going to take her? WHAT'S THE DEAL? This is when it's easier for a woman to just say, "Umm, I'm really busy for the next week or two, but give me your number and I'll call you…")
Game over, dude.
Now, here is the ALPHA MOVE: “You mentioned that you don't work on the weekends. So Friday night, I'm going to take you to a really cool lounge that I know you'll love. It's my favorite 'off the radar' spot – wait until I show you this place. Great music, cool crowd, and my friend Jimmy the bartender makes the best drinks in town. I'll pick you up at eight."
ALPHA MALE SECRET #4: Leave them wanting more.
The top Alpha Males – whether it’s a business mogul, or a Hollywood star – are very busy people. They’re not going to grant you endless amounts of their time. Take the same attitude with women. YOU want to be the one ending the conversation first, whether it’s a conversation at a bar, or a phone call to set up a date.
The average guy will talk…and talk…until the woman finally says, “I have to go find my friend” or “it’s was nice talking to you, but I need to be up early tomorrow…” As an Alpha Male, you must ALWAYS have a goal in mind when you converse with a woman, and achieve that goal before the conversation ends.
At a bar, the goal might be to get her phone number and email address. Or, if you’re calling her on the phone, the goal could be to establish when you’re going to see her next. The bottom line is, you’ve got to have a plan, a strategy, and a way to execute it.
NEVER drag it out to the point where she has to leave first. She’ll assume you’ve got nothing else going on in your life. When YOU end it first, you leave her wondering… “hmm, he isn’t like most guys I’ve met. What else is going on in his life? What other girls is he seeing? Why is he always too busy to talk on the phone?”
Nice. That’s EXACTLY where you want her.


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