Saturday, August 8, 2009

0 How to Compliment a Woman

Credit to Stephen Nash:

Have you ever heard from other dating guru's that if you
compliment a woman you'll RUIN your chances?

Have you ever FLOODED a woman with compliments, thus
blowing the sexual tension?

Did you know most guys compliment in the WORST possible
way (you might even be doing this)?

Do you know that CORRECT and appropriate compliments are
like throwing GAS on a open flame when it comes to sexual
tension and attraction?

I'm going to share the SECRETS of the naturals with you
now.

So many guys I've worked with are truly clueless when it
comes to complimenting a woman (step #7 in a natural pick-up,
in case you're counting).

In fact, when you read that word "complimenting", does it
conjure up images of lame guys pleading for a woman's
attention?

It used to with me. I used to compliment women attempting
to get them to LIKE me, because I was so NICE...disaster!

Women could sense this manipulation from me, and suffice it
to say, I got NO dates misusing this skill like this.

How many of you have said (or heard) any version of the
following:

"Wow, you're totally gorgeous. Let me buy you a drink"

"God broke the mold the day he made you!"

"You have the most amazing eyes, is this seat taken?"

"You are fine! I gotta take you to dinner sometime girl -
Gimme your phone number!"

It's a sad moment when any man lets rip with any of the
above. Can you see how insulting these are?

Cool, socially intelligent guys never waste their time with
"compliments" like these.

Not only is it blatantly obvious that the only thing you are
thinking about is sex, but it is also painfully clear that you
lack imagination and any ability to actually pay attention to
anything other than her looks.

That's three strikes against you, and you have only said one
thing!

Women do not like to be treated as sex objects by men -
clear?

When you "compliment" her with any of the above, you give
yourself exactly zero chance of meeting the actual person,
and having a real conversation.

Let's take a minute now and talk about how to compliment
a woman, in a way that does not insult her.

First of all, people (not only women), prefer to be
complimented about things that they have actually done rather
than their God-given genetics (aka - legs, eyes, hair, neck etc).

So, in the case of complimenting a woman's appearance,
why not consider her selection of clothing and style?

"Let me say, you look terrific, your sense of style is
impeccable. Are you a designer of some sort?"

"Are you an athlete? You walk with such grace and
composure - not easy in heels on the concrete sidewalk."

Your chances of flattering her are very high with
statements like these. You could even initiate a
conversation with a woman using these.

Again, you are talking about the choices she made around
her clothing selections for the day or the grace with
which she carries herself (something she has undoubtedly
worked hard for).

You are complimenting the person, rather than her God-given
looks.

See the difference here Schttrj?

If you are in conversation with her, and feel the desire
to compliment her, again, try to stay away from her looks:

"Wow, I am impressed. You are a great conversationalist.
This is really interesting. Let me ask you, how were the
dinner table discussions when you were younger - pretty
involved I'd bet."

"You're clearly well read - a characteristic I really
respect. Where did you get that quality? My mom and dad
were avid readers when I was growing up, so I naturally
became one too in my adult years."

Can you see how loaded these statements are? Not only
am I complimenting her, but I'm able to probe into her
background in one, and bait in the other! (can you see
that?)

If you ever do feel compelled to remark on a woman's
beauty, be sure not to do it when you first meet.

This just places you in the age-old stereotype of a guy who is
only interested in her physically, and can't think of anything
original to say. SERIOUSLY.

It is far more powerful to do so this late in the conversation,
as she will feel more comfortable around you and thusly more
open to being flattered by you.

"You know, I haven't said so until now because I didn't
want to make you uncomfortable - but you are a very
beautiful woman. It must be both a burden and a luxury for
you in life. Do you ever feel that people are often
speaking to the face or the body, and not the person?"

Can you see how that is a killer way to compliment her beauty?

If you say the above AFTER you've done steps 1-6, it won't be
perceived as that "lame guy" looking to manipulate. It will
come off as honest, and well-timed. Two pretty important
characteristics in the dating game.

Ultimately, you want the compliment to indicate that you
are able to pay attention to more than just her pretty
face.

It also indicates that you have some knowledge of what it
means to be a beautiful woman in the world. This helps her
to relax around you even more, allowing her to open up more
to you and the interaction.

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