0 From the Desk of Carlos Xuma

Rick was a great guy, and was really getting the hang of the attraction skillshe learned from a bunch of gurus, including us.

BUT - he found one big stumbling block that almost every guy out there runs into, and almost none of them get past...

The Approach.

And not just walking up and talking to women, either. We all know that this can be a real obstacle to guys who have no game, but after you figure out how to get past this hurdle, you find that you have a new challenge to deal with.

Rick discovered what most guys eventually learn: After you learn how to use a clever opening line - like an "opinion" opener - to start the conversation, inevitably there is a secondary hurdle to jump. That hurdle is creating REALconversation after you've managed to light the fuse.

90% of guys fizzle out in the first 3 minutes of talk - all because they're so caught up in their head about which technique or routine to use that they forget how to just relax and BE COOL.

Here's the little-known trick to getting past this obstacle:

GENUINE CURIOSITY.

If you have a REAL interest in the other person, you will have NO problem connecting the conversation from the opener to the banter that starts attraction.

Again, Rick felt uncomfortable in this zone because he was still using more "technique" than personality. So many guys are afraid to talk from a real part of themselves for fear of the woman rejecting them - the REAL person behind the clever technique.

What we get back to here is VULNERABILITY.

The more a woman can feel safe and trusting that she's dealing with an authentic Alpha Man, the faster you can build rapport and get past all those initial tests and games she plays with you.

(Remember that the beauty of what we teach you in the Alpha Rules is that you can use this ANYWHERE - not just in a club or bar. You need techniques that work in every environment, and at any time.)

Rick realized that if he didn't make his approach techniques part of hislifestyle and personality, he would probably end up doing what most guys do that take a workshop or bootcamp: He'd get jazzed up for a few weeks, and then lose his motivation as he realizes that he learned a skill but lacked the feeling of confidence to back it up.

He needed to be ALPHA.

So we taught him the "Genuine Curiosity Connector." This is a way you can keep the conversation going after the opener.

The Genuine Curiosity Connector works like this:

1) After she answers your opener - whatever it may be - you do a quick gut-check. This is your opportunity to relax and release any tension you might have inside about talking with a woman.

2) Breathe in and out - deeply. As you exhale, let the tension fall out of your shoulders (again, 95% of guys hold their tension in their shoulders and neck, so release it!).

3) Imagine there's a warm, bright heat coming off her body and being absorbed into you, and vice-versa. You're both sharing the same energy, like aconnection between your emotional centers. It's past all the superficial masks and personas, and it cuts right through to the REAL person inside.

4) Then look at her and say, "I bet you have a fantastic story to tell me about yourself... What is it?"

Take a second to pause for effect before you say, "What is it?"

Hold her gaze the whole time, and keep your face relaxed, and your stare very soft, not intense. (Turn off those Manson-lamps!)

And, to really lock this in, breathe in and out again deeply, imagining that another wave of heat and light is radiating off of you and being absorbed into her.

Remember to keep your intention strictly on learning what her interesting story is, no matter what she comes up with. You may have to dig a little, because most women aren't used to men being this in-tune with her, but when she does reveal her "fantastic story," you're going to have no problem with uncomfortable silences.

Just dig into the emotional details and let her keep talking. If you stay focused on her story - and out of your own head - you'll be able to keep the conversation going as long as you like.

Most of the time when we use this technique, women are left speechless, and even a bit hypnotized! It's like you're forging a connection with her that no man has ever tried to make, and she'll be attracted to you no matter what.

This happened to Rick, and when he came back to us, he was blushing a little. He got a little choked up when he told us that this was the most emotionally connected he'd felt in a conversation with a women in quite some time. He'd gotten further in just a minute or two than he'd ever gotten with his old pickup routines and openers.

The key element in this recipe for desire is that you remain very focused and alert, but super-relaxed. You'll feel more resourceful, she'll feel more relaxed around you, and you'll get to deep rapport in just minutes instead of hours.

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