0 What Attraction Is...!

Ever find yourself confused (as I once was) about this concept
called "attraction"?

So many words in our world are tossed around with such a
variety of meanings, that it's a true wonder that we
understand each other!

This is PARTICULARLY true in the world of dating.

One basic concept that you guys HAVE to grasp is the
nature of ATTRACTION.

(let me stress the word, "nature" here, OK?)

A short definition first:

Attraction is simply when someone feels a romantic
impulse towards another. It is the first step in building a
meaningful relationship.

What follows are chemistry, connection, compromise and
commitment.

(we'll talk about those at another time though...each an
incredibly important topic)

Initially, if a woman is attracted to you and you to her, you
have accomplished the simplest and most elusive building
block in a relationship.

I have met many men over the years, and have studied the nature of
what is attractive to women.

Initially, each woman (and man) has a certain "type" that
triggers the potential for attraction. This does not mean that
if you don't fit that type that you are out of luck.

It does mean that your chances of engaging her in a
flirtatious conversation increase.

Flirting is the signaling system for attraction...if she's
attracted to you, she will flirt with you.

As a man, it is very hard to know what type a particular
woman is attracted to - and there is only one way to find
out - initiate a  conversation with her.

In other words, don't try to figure it out in your meandering
brain Schttrj - engage her in a conversation.

The best way to increase your chances with women, is to
increase the attractiveness of your world and the daily life
you lead.

This "lifestyle" is the fastest, most effective way, to attract
more and more women into your world.

Women, intuitively, are looking for a man that fulfills her
innate need for security. This is why insecure men have
trouble attracting a mate.

A secure man tends to embody a sense of humor, focus/determination
(he lives with purpose),leadership, humility and vulnerability.

Healthy, attractive women crave this combination.

How you live your life (*lifestyle*) will show her how "secure" you
really are.

These traits are challenging for many men, which is why I
believe a guy who struggles with women is living out of
balance with himself.

His outlook is normally negative, and he seems to respond to life,
rather than act or move towards it.

A secure man initiates action into the world, the insecure one
replies to, or is affected by the actions of others.

Which describes you Schttrj?

Insecurity is also a result of being prey to negative
emotions, such as depression, anger, envy, greed,
lust etc.

If a guy struggles with envy, he will find himself walking
through the world comparing himself to everyone he meets,
subtly fulfilling his internal prophecy of "I am not enough,
look at that guy, he's got it all..."

The essence to being an attractive man is being a positive
man. If you are a guy who struggles with dating and
relationships,  I think you should ask yourself these essential
questions:

Do you see problems in front of you, or challenges?

Are you willing to accept yourself as you are, for the
moment, and take on the responsibility of creating a life
that is truly your own?

Are you focused on short-term survival, or long-term
prosperity?

History proves that, biologically - and therefore, intuitively -
women seek men that give them a strong feeling of security.

In order for a man to provide this, he must be secure in himself.

If you take nothing else away from my e-letters Schttrj, please
take THAT piece with you...

A secure man is an autonomous man...he is the elusive one
within each of us who craves to call his life his own.

If you desire to persuade people into your life in order to
build relationships, you will be far more compelling to
others if what you are offering promises to be a positive
experience for them (which is something I cover in great detail
in my ebook, How To Get A Girlfriend)

This is a simple sales model - in order to sell a product,
it needs to promise a positive experience for the consumer.

If your world is filled with positive emotions
(humor, happiness, passion, to name a few) you will
magnetically bring like-minded people into your life.

For example, when you are talking to a woman on the phone,
and she asks you "what's up?" You might reply by painting an
interesting and exciting view of the world in front of you -
in a totally original way.

Recently, I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine, and in the
middle of the conversation, I described to her the very funny
scene happening directly in front of me - which was of two kids
playing with a puppy.

It was a very humorous way to involve her into my world, one
that helped her understand that I see the world as a lively
and fun place, and that I am not afraid to share that with
her.

Doing things like this says so much about you as a
man, but do you take the time to consider it?

You SHOULD Schttrj.

Another great way to reflect a powerful image into the world
is in how you dress. Look at your wardrobe.

Are you up on the latest fashion?
Is your look something you are proud of, that you enjoy?
Does your look work for your career path?

If not, you might want to consider at least enhancing your
wardrobe a bit with some of the basics or by buying a very
nice pair of shoes for example.

Or, seek out some help in defining a look which works with both
your personality and lifestyle, and then find a way to incorporate that -
hire an image consultant, get your stylish sister to go shopping
with you, buy men's magazines for ideas...the possibilities
are endless here man.

Just remember, the most critical aspect in considering how
you dress is to reflect your personality in a powerful way,
that also works for the environment or scene that you are
in.

Might not be best to wear a really cool t-shirt to your
corporate job, for example.

If you can be someone who sees the world in a positive
light, you will naturally bring people closer to you.

Men who are successful with women are those who are autonomous
and embody a spirit of security by having a full, meaningful
and positive lifestyle.

In short, they are happy & fulfilled.

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